| If your child is showing the signs of chronic worry and stress such as frequent illness, emotional problems, tantrums, poor motivation, refusing to cooperate, persistent fears, or disturbed sleep, it is important that you unearth the cause of the problem promptly, and do something active about it. Encouraging a positive attitude is important, but, only providing encouragement without offering a tangible solution can lead to even more stress in the longer term.
Not performing well at school is a very common cause of stress in children. With the best of intentions, the adults in their lives may say to them "Just try harder." But, trying harder does not make someone a better reader for example, it actually puts a person under more stress, making it more difficult to learn new skills. Consider this analogy, if the only way you know how to dig holes is with a spoon, working twice as hard with the spoon is still not an effective way to dig a hole for a swimming pool.
Also, keep in mind that one problem can lead to another. For example, a child may be reluctant to go to school saying that he/she has no friends. This may be due to poor communication skills, which in turn may be a result of poor learning skills- try not to confuse the symptoms with the cause- and there may be a chain of causes.
If are not able to determine the real source of the stress, then it is advisable to have your child's communication and learning skills assessed. Even if weaknesses with these skills are not the cause of the problem, improved learning and communication skills are likely to assist your child when working on the solution.
When dealing with students suffering from both chronic or acute stress, we teach a few simple self-help techniques which lower tension levels and calm the mind. This allows effective learning to take place. These techniques can also be used by you and other members of your family to help you deal with the inevitable periods of stress you will experience in your lives.
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